Having Fun Yet?!

I hardly ever check this thing anymore...but I thought I'd just write something on here so it doesn't look like I'm neglectful. If that's even a word. And if it is...I guess that's exactly what I've been doing to this thing.

Oh well...just a random update...

I'm a little bit bugged right now...let me tell you why...I just wrote this big long giant sized post...and something I did, made it disappear. I'm upset about it, to be honest with you...I'll try again...

Here it is December 5th, 2006...my last post was March 10th, 2006...that's WAY too long to ignore the blog!

December (been a minute since I've called you that!!!)...I wanted you to know that I love you so much. I always have...and I always will. Things have been kinda...well...for lack of a better word, crazy for the past few months. I have never stopped loving you since December 2003. And I'm positive I never will. Even though at times I may have failed you in showing that. You've never left my mind or heart. Ever. It's always been all yours. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. The times we've endured...the relationships we've had...it's all been for a reason. I honestly believe that we're meant to be together. I'm not going to argue with fate, either!

I want more than anything for us to be together again. I know that may be some time away...but I want you to know that I've treasured every second spent with you the past little while. You give my life meaning. I know that you are scared to try again...but the things that you are afraid of, are the things that I know will not be an issue...and I think that time will only tell. I don't care about the attention or adoration from anyone but you. You are the only person in this world that I want to love me. I really mean that. I hope that soon, we'll be able to be ready to try again...because I miss everything about you. Everything about us. I want it back so badly.

I love you so much...and I always will.

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words tonight

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words tonight

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

So...I'm in Silver City, NM. I've been here since Monday. I know...it's only been 4 days...but it feels like an eternity so far.

I was listening to some music and I decided that the song I'm about to type is a really good song, and even though the song is about breaking up...I'm going to change a couple of the words, take out some lines...and it will say exactly what I feel...

I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby

When I left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

I'm so far away from you...I feel like I've been gone forever. I miss you so much. It's been a long time since I've been away from you for THIS long. I never want to do it again. I can't be without you.

I know you don't really like Mariah...but this song is exactly how I feel. I miss you. So much. The only part I didn't take out, that I wanted to...but I just left it was the who's gonna take your place part...NO ONE can ever take your place...I'm never going to let you go. I love you so much. Although I KNOW where I went wrong...agreeing to come to this damn town!

I hope that everything in good ol' Utah is treating you well. I'm sorry that I won't be able to make it to your very first basketball game. I wish I could be there. I love watching you play. Make a lot of points for me...and make sure you can give me a play by play when I talk to you!

Anyway...I hope everything is going well for you out there. I can't wait to come home to you. I miss you and love you babe...